I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She's just so happy...and so naked.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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