She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
