i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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