girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
