My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
im on a boat
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