Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
