i would punch a child for taco bell
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
