he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize