is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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