Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
