i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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