it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize