the condom got lost in my hair
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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