I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
