Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
