omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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