ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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