You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
