He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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