you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
