Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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