Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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