Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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