Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
