you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
