Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
