if i can run in heels then i can drive
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
