i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Alive.
So much puke
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Two words: nipple clamps
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