Can Purell be used as lube?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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