whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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