He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
