Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
