You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
