I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
