Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
