After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
