We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
