he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize