That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
