me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
