I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
