even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
