Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
