pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hope mine doesn't look like that
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
