barbara walters just said penis...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
