Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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