I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
