she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Bring me that man meat
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize