Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize