you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
