in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
