I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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