she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
