That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize