your parents love me but you hate me
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
