3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize