i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
