Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize