I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
