Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
