mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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