Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
