Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Did I show you my penis last night?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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