the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
