If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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