you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
