I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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