I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
