i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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