i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
