I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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