Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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