Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
